And It Hits You
I have been feeling out of sorts all week. I hate this time of year. There is no denying how much I hate it. Some years it’s fine. Other years it isn’t. This year is a particularly bad year. I am dreading getting closer and …
Life Without Rhianna Lily
How Has It Affected Them?
One thing that I have always always worried about is how Rhianna dying has affected the boys. It’s something I will never really have the answer to I don’t think. But something that I worry about every single day. Less some days more other days. …
Missing You
I have been absent for a while. Truth be told I have been struggling this month. As you know I found the new year difficult, moving onto another decade, leaving the only decade Rhianna existed behind. I really struggled with it and I haven’t really …
“But I miss Rhianna”
There is nothing harder for a parent than watching your child in pain. There is nothing harder as a parent watching your child in tears. There is nothing harder as a parent seeing your child in pain and tears and not being able to do …
Happy New Year and a Happy 2020
It’s New Year’s Eve and tomorrow a new year and a new decade starts. And I want to wish you all a Happy New Year and a Happy 2020 But I am being a bit of a grump to be honest. It started yesterday when …
Rhianna’s Christmas
It is so hard to find something smaller enough for Rhianna’s grave every year. Every year we always search and search. Wreaths are generally too big and cover Rhianna’s whole grave. And with the bits that she has on there all year it is hard …
Christmas Day 2019
So yesterday happened in a whirlwind of activity and everyone was spoilt and it was a fab day. And it was a fab day. The boys got presents. Rhianna got presents. I didn’t cry. It’s taken me seven years but this year I didn’t cry. …
Christmas Is Just Around The Corner
And just like that I seemed to have blinked and Christmas is literally only a couple of days away! I am not really sure what has happened. It hasn’t crept up on me this year it has completely bulldozed into my life. We are pretty …
In The Moment
Yesterday I got asked how old you are Yesterday I had to stop and think Just for a second I needed to stop I needed to think It was just the difference between 8 and 7 I was asked your age in a slightly different …
Christmas Decorating With A Child Missing
I love to decorate our house at Christmas. We always get our tree up early and we always have two trees and then last year we started putting a tree up for Rhianna as well. This year, the boys were really excited about her tree …