Christmas Day 2019

So yesterday happened in a whirlwind of activity and everyone was spoilt and it was a fab day.

And it was a fab day.

The boys got presents.

Rhianna got presents.

I didn’t cry.

It’s taken me seven years but this year I didn’t cry.

And that’s ok.

We missed her from the moment we woke.

We missed the stocking.

The presents.

The extra seat.

The extra mayhem of another child in the house.

But I didn’t cry.

Every year since Rhianna died I have cried at some point on Christmas day.

This for me was huge.

We brought her a present for her grave.

So far we haven’t been.

Again it’s ok.

I can’t go on Christmas day every year I say I will.

Every year I don’t go.

I don’t need to go.

She doesn’t need us to go on Christmas day.

We will take her present another day.

We would usually go today but the weather is hideous so we will probably go tomorrow.

And that’s ok.

It’s all ok.

We had a good Christmas and that’s ok.

We missed her that’s inevitable.

But we laughed.

We made memories and we had fun.

And she was a part of every single one of them.

As she always is.

And all of it is ok!