Saying Goodbye

Since losing Rhianna Lily, we have been surrounded by support from all sorts of people. Family, friends, and people that we barely know on-line and off-line.

It is amazing that people just start talking to you about their losses and you don’t realise that there are so many people who have been in similar situations as you until it really happens to you.

We have been shocked and surprised by the support that we have received, and on the other side of the process we have also been shocked that some of the people we expected to be there for us really haven’t been. It has been a hard thing to deal with but obviously baby loss is such a delicate subject and not everyone can deal with it.

But it affects so many people.

Rhianna Lily died, and we as her parents were bereft, her big brother was so upset but it didn’t stop there. Our tiny tiny 9oz baby girl has affected so many people. There are her grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, great grandparents, great aunties, great uncles, godparents, 2nd cousins, 3rd cousins and how ever many more cousins removed. Friends of Baba, friends of ours, friends of her aunties and uncles and cousins and grandparents. People at Baba’s preschool, at my work and at her daddies work.

Everyone we come into contact with has been affected in some way, even if they don’t know us that well. I know that seems bizarre but it is true.

Imagine, Mr L is back at work a few weeks after loosing Rhianna and a work mate who he doesn’t see often and barely knows ask how the baby is? Bam there you go someone else we hardly know is affected by the loss of Rhianna.

It is that simply done. There is no preparing anyone for it.

And I really hate to admit to it, and this is not always 100% the case. But really truthfully however hard to admit it is, most people ask about me and me alone. Mr L is forgotten a lot, Baba is asked about a lot I admit, but no one asks if my sister, Mr L’s sister and brother or our parents are ok, OR if Mr L is ok. He gets told to look after us, that is all really.

We are all affected, we are all sad and we are ALL grieving! Every single one of us that is listed above. All sad and upset about our tiny little girl dying.

That is why we are supporting Saying Goodbye!

Saying Goodbye, is running remembrance services throughout the country for all people who have lost a baby at any stage of pregnancy, birth or in infancy. All the services are for anyone that is affected by the loss of the baby, parents, siblings, extended family and friends who need to say goodbye to the babies in their families or just to remember them. Saying Goodbye is created by Zoe and Andy and you can read Zoe’s very personal story of why Saying Goodbye is so important to them here.

We truly believe that everyone has to grieve Rhianna Lily, and has a right too not just myself, Mr L and Baba but all of us. I can’t put a number on those people I really can’t but I can tell you that 35 people turned up for Rhianna Lily’s funeral and lots of others sat at home remembering our little girl lighting candles for her that day so maybe we will just start there with those people who need to grieve.

You can follow Saying Goodbye on Twitter, and on Facebook as well as their website, please check out their dates for their services here.