Stillbirth is…

Stillbirth is hearing the words, ‘we are sorry there is no heartbeat’

Stillbirth is being told there isn’t an option for a caesarean that a natural birth is better for your body and for you.

Stillbirth is waiting a few days for a natural labour to start

Stillbirth is driving to the hospital to give birth in silence

Numb

Stillbirth is being in a labour ward, but a silent room

Stillbirth is labour but with nothing at the end

Stillbirth is silence when your baby is born

Stillbirth is silence from the midwives

Stillbirth is a look of pity

Stillbirth is your child changing before your eyes

Stillbirth is your child being blessed, no Christening allowed

Stillbirth is deciding whether you want your child buried, or cremated

Stillbirth is having your babies grandparents speak to funeral directors instead of sharing your news

Stillbirth is walking out of hospital just the two of you and not three

Stillbirth is silence at home

Stillbirth is flowers arriving daily

Stillbirth is standing by a grave watching your baby go into the ground

Stillbirth is crying in the dead of the night

Stillbirth is a wall around you

Stillbirth is friends not knowing what to say

Stillbirth is friends not knowing what to do

Stillbirth is babies being kept away from you

Stillbirth is you distancing yourself from babies

Stillbirth is an absent child at birthdays, at Christmas

Stillbirth is an absence everyday

Stillbirth is relationships changing.

Stillbirth is loosing friends

Stillbirth is making friends

Stillbirth is learning that you and your husband deal with it differently

Stillbirth is fighting

Stillbirth is tears

Stillbirth is breaking your heart in two

Stillbirth is crying in the middle of a shop at baby clothes

Stillbirth is grieving not only for your baby but also all the plans you made

Stillbirth is wondering if your child would be like you or daddy or their brothers

Stillbirth is making you paranoid throughout your next pregnancy

Stillbirth is leaving you with anxiety

Stillbirth is a fear of loosing your child

Stillbirth is being over protective of your other children

Stillbirth is still crying years later

Stillbirth is surviving every day

Stillbirth is living for the now

Stillbirth is keeping your babies memory alive

Stillbirth is living for your babies

Stillbirth is the divide of your life before and your life after