Christmas is so hard when you have a child missing.
This year I am really finding it difficult and have already had a wobble about missing Rhianna and we are only on day five.
One thing that I think is evident in everything I write and say about Rhianna is making sure she is remembered.
It is a very fine line of making sure she is remembered and making sure she isn’t all you talk about.
All you want to do as their parent, is remember them, and have everyone else remember them.
It’s all you want but at the same time you learn to accept it doesn’t always happen.
So when it does it can be a total shock and surprise.
A lovely one at that but still a surprise.
It is a hard thing to do remembering someone’s child who has died.
Everyone does it so differently.
Some talk about it all the time.
Some don’t mention it.
Some cry if you say their name, some smile.
I get it must be so hard to guess what the reaction would be.
For me anything that shows someone has thought of Rhianna I love.
So yesterday when a good friend just out of the blue gave me a tree decoration for Rhianna’s tree, my heart swelled.
The decorations gorgeous.
The fact that a friend just went shopping and happened to find it, and thought of Rhianna.
Our little girl that she has never met.
Never held, never knew.
The fact that she was born and died before we knew her.
That didn’t matter.
She saw it, she thought of her and her tree and she brought it.
That is just priceless.
And fills my heart that Rhianna is being thought of, remembered and is part of someone else’s family.
It’s the tiniest of gestures, the smallest of moments that make situations like Christmas and birthdays so much easier when you have a child in heaven.
And as bereaved parents you can never say thank you enough for the presents, the mentions, the acknowledgements.
But they all help, they all make such a difference and sometimes they are the only thing that turns a bad day into a good day!