Grieving or Living

March is not our favourite month,

But we still have two choices

We can spend all month grieving that little bit more than we grieve the rest of the year

We can wallow in our grieve almost

We can become angry

Sad

Hysterical

And we can become a person on auto pilot

And to be honest we do all of this to some degree

But the choice is we could do all of that and make nothing else matter for March

Make March all about grieving for Rhianna Lily

But that would be pointless

We grieve for her everyday

It doesn’t matter what we are doing

Where we are

Or how happy we are

We are always missing her

We cry regularly,

Not physically every day

But internally every day we cry for Rhianna

We are her parents and we miss her until the day we stop breathing

Our world is the wrong way round we out lived our child that’s not how it should be

And every day we remember that and we grieve that

But we still have a choice

We can let that grieve over take us every March leading up to her birthday

Or we can do something else

Instead of grieve for her

We can live for her

We can make her brothers smile

Make them have super memories

And make the month of her birthday a good month

A happy month

And a beautiful month

We can start seeing the rainbows in the sky

Seeing the flowers bloom

And watching the sun rise early and the moon rise late

And we can smile

We can take them all as signs that she is ok

She is happy

And she is with us every day of our lives

And even more so near her birthday

This year we have decided to live for her

I am not sure what we will do next year

But this March we are living

We are making memories

And we are making her brothers smile

And we are proud of her, like we are every day

And will be forever more!