Second Birthday
Last Sunday was Rhianna Lily’s second birthday
Her second anniversary
I always struggle what to call it, it’s an odd day. It’s her birthday and her anniversary and neither seems right to say so I don’t really say anything.
Last year Baba wanted to have a party, we had people round, people wrote things for the blog and it was a big event. It was her first. It was bound to be.
This year was a completely different affair.
It was very quiet, there was just us and there was no fuss.
It was so hard.
I don’t expect the world to remember and I know that people do remember in their own ways, but this year it really felt like she was forgotten.
Last year I dreaded her birthday
This year it silently went by and I felt numb to it
We got a cake, we took up flowers, we spoke about her. Baba screamed Happy Birthday to her.
But it was just another day.
Another day that passed as an ordinary day amongst all the ordinary days in the year
There was no present building, or present wrapping the night before
There were no surprises
No excited children not able to sleep
No phone calls with birthday wishes
No balloons,
No party
No visitors
No wrapping paper being thrown
And little bits of presents everywhere
It was just another day
Another ordinary day
And it hurt
It hurt more than last year
I don’t know what I want to do for her birthday
But I don’t want a repeat of this year
I want her birthday to be celebrated
But how do you celebrate a baby girl’s birthday in heaven?
I want to do something that we don’t usually do
Something that is special that is just for us and Rhianna
Something to make the day special
It is a special day
It’s her day
And we need a tradition
One that we can continue to do
One that will always be for Rhianna
For her day
A thing that we don’t ordinarily do
Something that we get excited about the night before
That stops her brothers from sleeping
That makes the day so special
Something that makes it better than this year
And makes the 23rd March a special day, Rhianna Lily’s day
You are all so strong.
Try to choose a special place to go each year that you would’ve taken Rhianna and maybe take balloons to release and as baba and boo get older get them to attach notes for Rhianna to them or spend the day doing exactly what you would’ve done had Rhianna been with you…..thoughts with you all.xx
Thank you Jayne, that is what we want to do find a special place that we can go to each year to celebrate her birthday x