Two

Two.

It was easier to answer two.

Two instead of three but our daughter died.

Easier to just be told, how lovely.

Easier to carry on a happy conversation.

How old are they?

Reply with their ages and get an aww lovely reply.

Today I missed you enough.

Today was hard enough.

Today I didn’t need to see their awkwardness.

I didn’t want to feel bad when they gasped and said sorry.

Today was hard enough.

Today was easier to say two.

It doesn’t mean I miss you less.

If truth be told the days I say two means I miss you more.

They are the days I can’t deal with being worried about other people’s responses.

They are the days when I miss you so much.

But are the days when I don’t want to be the mum that lost their baby.

Instead I just want to be mum.

When I answer two I don’t miss you less.

I miss you more.

I answer two to survive.

I answer two when I am not strong enough to deal with others feelings.

I answer two when I don’t want to feel others shock, and sadness.

I answer two when I miss you most.

Today I answered two.