Starting Year One and No Pre-School

So today Baba proudly got up, put his new school clothes on and took his new school bag and headed of to his year one classroom.

He has been super excited about starting school again, which has only been fueled by the fact that his new teacher taught Mr L and his Auntie. Something that Baba finds so amazing. It is literally all he can talk about.

This year we aren’t allowed in the classroom, we wait in the playground and they walk up the steps by themselves. Starting another new chapter in their lives.

Baba could not be more unfazed by it all if he tried. He is super excited as he is finally getting school dinners and this morning I had to pull him back to give me a kiss.

As he boldly walked up the steps, happy and content I couldn’t be more proud of him. He loves school and I am so pleased. As he waved goodbye I had a lump in my throat. Worse than last year.
He is growing so fast, every year he is one step closer to being far to big. And every year I get a little more upset about it.

But this year was particularly hard.

As there should have been two school trips today.

One starting year one.

One starting preschool.

Instead there was only one.

I didn’t think I would be bothered about a preschool start. It wasn’t a milestone I had really thought about.

But last night when I was getting Baba’s clothes ready. It hit me.

The realisation that I should be laying out two sets of clothes. One for a school one for preschool. And as grieve always does. It floored me.

Today there should be two sets of firsts.

Two sets if photos.

Two sets of new chapters.

But there’s only one.

So while I sit and worry as every mummy does on the first day back to school I am also going to buy some flowers. Take them to Rhianna. Think about how gorgeous she would be in that old preschool uniform her brother had and how excited she would be and how excited he would be that she was starting.

It’s always something you don’t expect.

Something that comes from no where.

But floors you. Takes you right back to that first day without them the broken dreams and wishes.

Today is one of those days

So while you are celebrating those first days at school spare a thought for the mummy and daddies that will never have that first. Send a hug acknowledge their baby. Just show you care.