Silence

Mr L and I grieve differently, we always have and we always will.

He is a man I am a woman!

That is what makes the biggest difference, I talk, I write and I want everyone to talk about Rhianna too me as well.

He is silent, and he isn’t bothered if people talk about Rhianna or are silent. If you talk to him he listens, if you don’t talk to him, he copes with it.

I don’t do so well on that front.

The silence around Rhianna makes me feel like she is forgotten, it is something I struggle with everyday. Mr L doesn’t struggle with that he knows that people are still thinking and grieving, and caring, but they just aren’t talking. They don’t know how to, they don’t know what to say. He is fine with it.

I am not.

I really, really struggle with it, and it hurts. I do get all of what he says, I get that people don’t know what to say, I get that they don’t know whether they should but that does not make me ok with it.

I hate it.

I struggle with it and it hurts.

There is no right and wrong, and no one can make everyone grieve the way they want them too. I get that too, but it still doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.

Because it does, it is painful and I am not fine with the silences.