March The 7th

We’ve got to March the 7th and I haven’t actually blogged about Rhianna or her birthday month yet this year.

It isn’t that I am suddenly finding March easy.

But I don’t know it seems a bit different.

I think after last year having her birthday plans pulled from under us, and going into a national lockdown on her birthday. I have tiptoed into her birthday month this year.

I haven’t fully recovered from spending a birthday of hers without Mr L if I am totally honest and I am trying my hardest not to think about her birthday this year.

As much as that is possible when it is her birthday in a couple of weeks.

I don’t want to contemplate another birthday where her daddy needs to work.

I don’t want to think about another birthday of not having any plans or being able to do anything.

So instead this year I am keeping busy.

We are redecorating.

We are doing things in the house.

We are keeping busy.

We aren’t not suddenly affected by her birthday.

The feelings are there.

The tears are there.

The hard days are there.

But I am trying to just get through them this year.

And hopefully we can celebrate, in not the same way we usually would but we can celebrate our little girl in some way on her birthday.