Capture Your Grief – Essence

Who is Rhianna?

What is she to me?

Does she have a name?

What does her name mean?

That is the prompts for today’s Capture Your Grief.

Rhianna is our second child, our only baby girl and our girl in heaven.

BB was going to be Mr L’s best friend Rhianna was going to be mine.

I had our lives mapped out from the minute I knew she was a girl.

Shopping trips, salon trips, lunches out when she was older.

Watching her walk down the aisle with her daddy.

I always knew in my heart she would be the firey one, the one to push her daddies buttons, the one that would have to have the last word with him.

But it was ok I was prepared for it.

She is our only girl and none of that was meant to be!

Her name was picked out before she was born Rhianna Lily.

A little different like her brother.

But a lot more feminine.

Rhianna is a Welsh name meaning great queen and is associated with fertility and the moon.

Lily is my favourite flower.

It is a flower that has always represented Rhianna.

Her tiny grave was full of lilies the day she was buried.

Our house was full of lilies for weeks after she died.

Whenever anyone is thinking of her we try to find lilies, we don’t always succeed but lilies are her thing.

And that so helps.

It helps on the hard day’s.

And six years later it helps when I think of the future.

Her brothers don’t need to make an elaborate thing.

It’s a quiet gesture that they understand that I understand that their dad understands buy some lilies we know what it means.

And that heals my heart a little.

Especially on days when I worry she will be forgotten and will disappear, lilies will keep her memory alive for all of us.