When Your Daughter Lives in Heaven from a Bereaved Mummy to a Bereaved Daddy

When your daughter lives in heaven days are hard.

Special days are even harder.

When your the daddy of a daughter or son in heaven they can be even harder.

They can be lonely, there can be no support and all the pressure placed on just you.

And there can be so many expectations on you as Daddy.

We have lived it.

And live it daily.

This weekend it is Father’s Day and it is Mr L’s 7th Father’s day without Rhianna.

There are so many things we have learnt in those seven years.

There are so many things we don’t yet know.

There are so many things we haven’t yet come across and so many things we haven’t even imagined yet.

But there are so many things that need to be said.

So from me to you.

From a bereaved Mummy to a bereaved Daddy.

Thank you.

Thank you for supporting me for the last seven years.

Thank you for standing there and be told to look after me, to look after BB, to look after Boo and not batting an eyelid that no one is telling anyone to look after you.

Thank you for holding me tight on the nights immediately after Rhianna died.

Thank you for feeding me, making sure I slept. And waking every moment I was in tears to look after me no matter how much your heart was breaking.

Thank you for taking the responsibility and telling our world that our daughter had died.

Thank you for receiving text messages, Facebook messages and calls to look after me and never screaming at them what about me, my daughter died too.

Thank you for always being there whenever I fall apart and not say a word.

Thank you for always understanding my grief even when it is so different to your own.

Thank you for never questioning how I grieve. Something I haven’t always done.

Thank you for just being you when the whole world has been a world none of us are understanding, and you trying to keep a constant going.

Thank you for breaking in two but taking a breath and keeping it together for us all.

Thank you for answering the questions I can’t answer from her brothers.

Thank you for speaking her name when I couldn’t.

Thank you for telling the world she existed when I couldn’t.

Thank you for understanding my pain and my irrationality when I can’t.

Thank you for gluing us together when we are falling apart.

Thank you for loving Rhianna as much as I love her.

Thank you for missing Rhianna as much as I miss her.

Thank you for being her daddy.