Silence – Wave of Light 2013 We Always Remember

When the words are said to your face,

Your heart stops beating,

That beat you missed will never be recovered

As you get stuck repeating the words

Telling your family

Your friends

There is nothing that you can do to stop the tears

The lump is there the lump will always be there

And then you are left with the silence

Going to a labour ward knowing there is no baby coming out with you

Going down that corridor

The one that other mums aren’t going down

Being hidden away

But still never totally avoiding the cries from all those babies

All the babies that are being born that are filled with smiles

Instead you are left with silence

The silence that surrounds you

There are no words that either of you can say

There are no cries

There are no words the midwives can say

It is all just silent

Silence

A horrible stillness

A coldness in the air

One that you have never felt before

It is one that you become use to

Standing at your baby’s grave

The noises are loud

The tears are sobs

Gut retching sobs

But still so much silence

As everyone looks on

With silent tears flowing down their faces

Feeling your pain but not understanding

Watching your pain but not being able to take it away

The earth stands still the wind doesn’t make a noise

The clouds stop

And you watch in silence your baby being laid to rest

And it is always there

The silence

The stillness

And the coldness

That should be filled with laughter, joy and growing

But instead there is just silence!