Nearly 6 Months

I can’t believe that this month marks 6 months since we lost Rhianna.

It all seems so fresh and then at the same time it all seems like another persons life. We seem to be looking in on our lives all the time. It is strange, it is surreal and it is really hard to get your head around at times.

The pain is there constantly, some days it isn’t as much as others, other days it is all you can think about. But the days that it isn’t there as much leads to days and days of real heart ache as how dare you slightly forget. In a way when the pain was all I could think about it was easier. I felt it all the time, I cried all the time and I remembered all the time.

I obviously don’t forget but the pain isn’t there all the time and I feel so bad that it isn’t there every second of the day. I know that it is good in a way because we have Baba we have to keep going and life keeps going. But it just feels so wrong to be happy and to be carrying on as normal. I find that the hardest at times that we are happy, we do laugh and we do carry on.

I know we have to but I find it so hard.

The last couple of months have flown by. It has been the summer and we really went for it this summer making Baba have a great summer, as it was so different to the summer he should have had. But this month is different.

Six months is a big anniversary it is half the year, and we both want to do something special for Rhianna this month.

But what to do, it is so tough and neither of us are really sure what to do our how to mark it. It needs to be a day for her, Baba wants to do something to but we are just not sure what.

We have thought about going to the beach, we have thought about putting something nice on the grave, after all that is why we got it. But with all the issues going on there it is stopping us from doing things that we want there! So instead we are currently stuck and not really sure what to do?

So thinking caps are on to make Rhianna’s six month anniversary a special and gorgeous day.