Making Decisions

It seems like I have had this little blog going round and round in my head for months if not a couple of years now.

Of what to really do with it.

When I started blogging 8 years ago, it was just to write about me and BB I was a tad bored at home with him and it was a great space to clear my head and just write.

Then it became about writing about reviews and family stuff.

Then Rhianna died and it became about her, and I was focused that if one person read a blog about her and it helped them then that was an amazing thing.

Then it was quiet as I was pregnant with Boo and didn’t want anyone to know.

All the while still blogging occasionally.

Then it really lost its way for a while, with just a miss mish of posts here and there, I am now paying for that trying to organise them. But am slowly getting there.

I am not a big lover of a blog needing a niche, but my purpose has definitely changed.

When I started blogging I was a mummy blogger and proud of it.

Now I am more a lifestyle blogger, with a bit of everything in.

But even that isn’t 100% I am on a different journey now.

The kids are the same, Rhianna’s path is still the same but I am not the same.

I have been a yo yo dieter for years, before even having kids, but I have never been healthy.

I have done weight watchers (I hated counting points and gave up after a couple of weeks)

I did juice plus, I liked one of the shakes but the cost and the fact that I was eating so differently to the rest of the family didn’t work for us.

I have done Slim Fast yuck!

And I have read about numerous other diets but have never got further than reading them.

I have even done Slimming World before and left after two weeks. This is the longest I have ever stuck to a diet, new way of eating and I am really enjoying it.

But it isn’t easy, I still have days where I just want to eat a tub of ice cream and chocolate all day long.

But I am sticking to it and seeing some serious changes.

But it doesn’t stop there.

The food is the same as the skincare really.

I was a total yo yo skin care buyer, I would get caught up in the social media of what this brand offered and that brand and my skin was bad, mainly because of the shit I ate and the crap I put on my face (hindsight is amazing) but I was desperate for it to be clear and look and feel great. So I brought most things, I tried them for a couple of weeks, had breakouts, threw them away, again not realising your skin needs to adapt to these changes.

Then I found Tropic, I loved it, I started selling it. But even now I joined because of the boys, because of the amazing stuff it was doing for their skin, not mine, I need to really stop doing that. But the products have been amazing for my skin, and I still love them three years later and have learnt so much more about skin, products, chemicals, reactions and skin conditions in the last three years. I find it fascinating, I don’t feel it is a chore to learn and I love knowing more. And that isn’t even going into the business side of it, that I find totally fascinating. I love nothing more than sitting reading up on skincare, health of your skin and marketing principles.

If you had told me that a few years ago I wouldn’t have believed you.

I love it so much that I have even enrolled on a course to start in September to learn a little bit more about it all.

All of these things have changed but something else that has changed, well been heightened since Rhianna dying is my views on things. I am not going to go into it in great depth here, but I have always been a spiritual person, it has always fascinated me. But since she died I seek out quotes, passages, books, tales and anything that I find good for my soul.

Loosing a child, leaves no right or wrong way to deal with it. And everyone in one house deals with it differently. Mr L had already had depression before we lost Rhianna, we had already been living that and I was fully aware it was in the room after she died and have always seeked out ways to feel better, be happier and to look after our souls really.

It is something I am really interested our well being, looking after our selves, physically, mentally and spiritually.

It is something I actually think we all need.

We have to heal, from the trauma we have experienced as a family and I think the best way for us to do that is to be as healthy as can be, and that isn’t just physically, although obviously it is a big part. But we need to be healthy emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

And that is what I am about now.

This is still very much a blog about everything, it is still about parenting, family, home life, Tropic business, lifestyle, crafts, babyloss, but it is also about our journey of weight loss, wellbeing, healthy living and emotionally growing and being happier in general.

It is definitely a journey and one I am excited to be writing about on this blog for the future!

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