Capture Your Grief -Support

Support – where are my favourite support resources.

When Rhianna died we had a lot of support.

From family, friends, Tommy’s, Saying Goodbye and Sands.

All of them were amazing.

And we have continued to support every one of them since loosing Rhianna as they all provided so much support and guidance at the time.

But my biggest support except for Mr L and BB was here.

This little old blog of mine, at the time And Then All I Thought About Was You, the name change came much later. Was were I got most of my support. From real life friends via the computer and friends I had never actually meet.

You see no one stops you mid flow in a blog.

You don’t have to look at anyone with puffy eyes, or still in your PJ’s at 5pm.

You can just write.

You don’t even have to read it over if you don’t want to.

You don’t have to be concerned if it totally makes sense.

Its a bit like a tap, once it is opened the grieve just spills out.

And that kept me sane.

Being able to write.

Whether it was 6am 1pm 10pm or 2am I could just out spill all the pain in my head and write.

Through the blog I use social media, a lot, I am on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and in my darkest of days they have been where some of the strongest support has come from.

You see bereaved parents lie I have found.

We lie a lot.

And have this desire to protect you.

It doesn’t matter if you are our sister, mother, best friend or shopkeeper down the road, when we see your face twist in discomfort and not being comfortable about how to talk about our dead baby. We lie, we say we are ok, we change the subject.

On the internet we can’t see that.

So it pours out.

Tweet after tweet.

Facebook status after Facebook status.

Instagram grid after Instagram grid.

Blog post after blog post.

And there is no on trying their hardest to be supportive but their face doing that little twitch.

You have your real life friends and family checking out for you, obviously but you also have people that only you know you via the internet looking out for you.

You connect with other parents who have experienced what you are experiencing and understand your pain.

You listen to them and they listen to you.

In those dark nights when I was at the height of my insomnia and the world was sleeping the people in the world of Twitter and Facebook and social media became my friends.

They checked in on me, real life friends and people I had never met at the time, as it is always easier to send a Facebook message rather than a text.

They made sure I ate on Rhianna’s funeral.

They shared my tears on that day.

Messages came from all over supporting us, helping me just to get out the door.

I could be selfish on my blog and on social media, I didn’t have to worry about how much I was upsetting people as I couldn’t see their faces.

I could just selfishly pour out my grief and let go of all my thoughts.

I could write things I could never say.

My blog has been my support, my writing has been my support and my saviour at times.

There have been days where I have had to write my feelings, my pain down to escape them and my blog has allowed that.

Writing has been my therapy.