To Have Or When To Have?
Yesterday we went to one of Baba’s friends party which was lovely. All the children had a great time and were running around, playing games, painting and eating lots of cakes it was a great day out.
Mr L and I came out with a huge question hanging over us though.
Is it time to have another?
Baba was really the only child that didn’t either have a younger sibling or a pregnant mummy! Baba loves babies he always has, he just wants to sit with them and talk to them he has a real affection for babies. I think that he would love to have a brother or sister.
It is a big decision in some ways bigger than having the first. It’s the question of coping with two, sorting two out, affording two. Actually stretching the love I have for Baba to another child. There are so many points to think off but all come back to the same thing we both always wanted more than one, so….
It is something we are going to have a long think about, I hated being pregnant with a passion. I was really poorly and hated every minute of it. That obviously comes into it it is something that sits in the back of my mind. I know that every pregnancy every child is different but the thought is still there! There are so many things to think about we are stumped we talked about it a lot yesterday with no real answers and I think it may stay that way for a while!
Father Badger wants at least one more and I agree that there are so many things to consider. I am in my thirties now so probably ought to do it soon if we’re going to (yes, I know you can have children way later than we are, but it doesn’t mean we’ll be able to or that we want to be that much older than our offspring). I can’t imagine dealing with the last nine months AND having an older child to cope with. Maybe you’re more proficient on the second one? I hope so… And obviously there’s the financial aspect. It would probably mean the end of my career for a while. Or a change of direction to something part time or completely new and doable from home. All very overwhelming thoughts.
I know there are so many things to think off aren’t there. I think actually there are more things to think about than with your first! xx
Oh gosh, decisions decisions!! I know with having a puppy it is much easier having 2, and much less stressful 2nd time round lol.. but that prob doesn’t even compare to kids…!!! Iguess it would be nice for Baba to have a little brother or sister though. My 2 brother’s were at least 12 years older than me so I always felt like I was an only child!
I always felt like an only child with my sister, she is 14 years older than me however we are best of friends now. Mr L is experiencing the same with his brother now, he is 10 years younger than Mr L and he is now hitting his GCSE’s it is a big decision. One that does not need to be taken lightly that is for sure! xx
Spooky that I posted something very similar today too! A lot of my good friends are pregnant with their second, and most of them have a child around Ez and Fonz’s age. I’m torn – do I want another or not? Although pregnancy was pretty awful, I do put that down to the fact I was expecting twins. And I do have bump envy. I loved my bump. Oh well, lots to think about! x
It is strange that we both wrote pratically the same thing isn’t it. I am so torn as well, you see I hated being pregnant that is the worst thing xx
I know you know this, but the only ones who can decide are yo two and you’re doing the right thing by thinking about it carefully. I feel in some ways we rushed it (ours are 25 mths apart) but in others I wouldn’t have wanted to wait any longer.
The financial aspect is a biggie but we thought that since I had given up work anyway it was better to have another before I started thinking about working again. And we still had a lot of baby stuff from our first so it was a cost saving there.
The major question of will you have enough love is a no brainer – of course you will – you love your 1st so much that you think no way will I be able to love another like that, but you do. The only thing is that when you can’t be there for them both at the same time you’ll feel like absolute crap, but learn to split yourself in two and that’s no problem!!!
Thanks for that you have raised some really interesting points, I think the financial thing is so true. It is a thing that I think about all the time, what is the point of going back to work to get used to the money then to give up again. I have been at home with Baba for two and a half years and I would hate not to be able to do that with our next child as well to be honest! xx
I’m not a mom – but I spend a lot of time around moms… My best friend is currently pregnant with her second – and she’s the same as you – hates being pregnant and has a terrible time of it… But like she says, that’s only 9 months. And, if you’re going to have another kid anyways, you’ll have to jump in sometime. But, I do agree, it’s a very difficult decision to make.
I am so glad that someone else doesn’t love being pregnant I was beginning to think that it was only me xx