Boundaries!
I am really feeling like all I do at the moment is tell Baba off. He is really pushing the boundaries, and once he knows that something he is doing is wrong he tries to repeatedly do it just to see the reaction that he gets.
But as if this isn’t bad enough at the moment I really feel like I am the only one that says I am going to do something discipline wise and am the only one that actually does it.
Everyone else seems to threaten things such as taking something away or the naughty step they are the only things we do. But when it comes to the crunch I get met with, “well he did do this…/say this…/move this… etc” it can not even be related or it can be done after the time span he has been given. So he has been told to put something back by three and puts it back after that has been counted! There is always a reason, “he doesn’t understand,” trust me my son understands a lot more than people give him credit for. If he has belted you or bit you he understands that’s for sure. These are the things that I am talking about. So I don’t think I am being to hard on telling him off and following it through.
I just feel that I am the only person doing it, and I am being the one that Baba is starting to resent as I am the only one to do it.
I don’t want my child to be that horrible child that no one has any control over, that just rules the roost and does exactly what he likes. I want him to know right from wrong, and I want people to be consistent in his life with what is right from wrong. Is that so bad?
Oh lovely that’s not bad at all!! I totally understand and agree with you. I suppose you’ve just reminded me of a plus side of being a single parent – no one to agure with about how to disclipine Oli and in which way it is done. Thankfully at the moment he knows that no is no but then I guess he will take on Baba’s ways when he starts talking and understanding more!
Oh I know that is the biggest problem, that people just don’t do things the same way as me or understand where I am coming from. Makes me mad! Baba understands No he just chooses to ignore it little git! xx
I sympathise entirely! We have our little Beastie ruling the roost with bedtimes and he is always pushing the boundaries, he seems to revel in me getting angry. He is a pretty contented little boy but sometimes he is hard work especially in public places! Xx
What is it about children and public places! Ha they know when to pick their moments that is for sure xx
Try having 4 pushing 4 different boundaries all at the same time… Argggggh!
Oh that sounds awful, I give you all my sympathy xx
Consistency, consistency , consistency! That is the key. Well done for doing the difficult bit of parenting: giving boundaries. It is far easier just to let things go and be your child’s friend rather than their parent. But in the long run it does them no favours not to give boundaries. Boundaries are where human beings find safety. I was initially going to say child, but then I realised it applies to all of us.
How many times do you see mum’s saying : I’m my daughter’s best friend.
That always makes me wonder. Surely as a parent you should be encouraging your child to make their own friends and should have the self esteem to stay in parent role, albeit a parent with an open communication with their child. It seems like too many people these days are afraid of being the ‘bad guy’ and giving boundaries as it doesn’t make us feel good. Tough, I say. Being a parent has never been easy.
You shall reap the rewards later on. Trust me.
Thank you that is great sound advice there thanks xx