Mother’s Day and Residential Trips
This last week BB has been in France on his first residential trip.
He went on Monday and came back on Friday, shattered but having loved every single minute of it.
When he came home the first thing he said to me was that he brought Rhianna a present.
And he couldn’t wait to show me and his dad.
He went with his set amount of money which wasn’t a massive amount and Mr L and I told him not to spend it all on us to buy himself things.
He came back buying everyone a present including his nanny and grandads and Rhianna.
We totally didn’t expect it and it was a gorgeous thing to do.
And to be honest it made the week a whole lot better.
It was probably the worst week for us as a family for him to go away.
He went two days after Rhianna’s birthday and was away for the whole week leading up to Mother’s day. Emotionally it was not great timing.
But the fact that he came home having brought Rhianna a present as well as everyone else made everything ok again.
It’s a role BB has taken on over the years without even realising it.
When the moments without Rhianna become the hardest he selflessly steps up and does something amazing, whether it is saying something or buying something or making something. He seems to just know. And does something to make those times just a little easier.
When the calendar means that Mother’s Day falls a few days after Rhianna’s birthday the pain of missing her on her birthday is prolonged as you know in a couple of days you have to deal with the pain all over again with Mother’s Day happening and one child missing again.
It makes all the days in-between her birthday and Mother’s Day hard.
And it actually becomes harder as the years pass as you almost go out of your way to be ok on those days rather than to admit how hard they are in between.
Don’t get me wrong having her birthday and Mother’s Day on the same day is hell, but in some ways it is a little easier as it is all on one day. All the pain of missing her on her birthday and missing her on Mother’s Day is rolled into one. So you get through the day and then you can start to process it all and start recovering, where as when they are separated you are in a bit of a limbo until both of the days pass.
It’s something that is so hard to deal with, but even harder to explain.
And that is sometimes the hardest thing.
People just don’t get it.
And I am glad that they don’t.
But it doesn’t mean it makes it any easier.
But having children that do selfless things, that subconsciously know when their sister needs to be mentioned, needs to be remembered, needs to be thought about, needs to be included does do a lot.
And makes these days and these moments a lot easier to deal with and to cope with.