Melt Down
I don’t often give in to my emotions, I scream and shout yes, but otherwise I try to hold it together. Last night was an exception. I couldn’t keep them in touch anymore.
I have had a few issues with how I look for a long time now, for 28months actually, I think that is probably a lie I think it started way before Baba was born if I am honest. But in the last few weeks the issues have got worse and worse. As you all know I have been doing Fitness Friday awfully and haven’t been losing weight have been putting it on!
I have got stuck in a rut, where I hate how I look I know I need to do something but because I am upset about it all I want to do is eat chocolate and cake. Vicious circle I know and one that is very hard to get out off.
People around me keep saying you don’t look that bad, you look like you have lost weight, I still love you whatever you look like etc etc. It is all lovely but it still doesn’t help. I don’t look at myself anymore I hate how I look so try to avoid as much as possible.
If I am invited places, I dread it from the moment I am invited I have four of five pieces of clothes that actually fit that is all. All I can think about it was I will wear and too be honest I get myself in such a state that I generally end up refusing to go, or hate every moment that I am out, because I am the fattest frump there!
It is becoming a real problem, I don’t want to do things, I don’t want to go places and generally feel complete and utter rubbish and you know what I want to do when I feel rubbish, eat cake and chocolate.
I am hiding it well I know that I am, I think I have felt like this for a long time so have got clever at hiding it. Although last night I had a melt down and it all came out, Mr L was shocked, he knew I hated my weight but to the extent that I did and I think that he was concerned. He has promised to try to help as much as he can, and has promised to not suggest unhealthy stuff and to stop eating it all himself as well.
I just want to be happy again, I am really fed up of feeling like this and of hating how I look. I used to love going out and obviously I don’t want to go back to going out every weekend, we can’t afford it and we have a child. But when we do have things to go to I actually want to look forward to them rather than dread them with hate and fear!
I totally understand. I did the Tesco’s online diet and it was brilliant. Low GI with a meal planner that tells you everything to eat all day and a family friendly version too. I have since recommended it to a few others and it worked really really well for them. It does cost so it probably isn’t right for you right now (about £12 a month).
The only advice I can give is don’t try and do everything straight away. Do it a bit at a time.
Firstly make sure you eat only brown bread.
Then cut down your dinner time portion size.
Every time you have something you know you shouldn’t take a run up and down the stairs a few times.
Gradually build up. Don’t put pressure on yourself and don’t give up if you have a bad day or two.
Hang in there – you can do it
Thank you so much, that is sound advice there. Brown bread is something that we need to start eating again, have got very lax with that and been buying just white I have to say. It is so hard isn’t it as the Tesco thing sounds great but you are right it is something that I can’t afford right now, but something I will bear for the future! xx
You wouldn’t believe the difference the brown bread/white bread thing makes. It’s a great first step to take
Thanks will go and get some later xx
Oh I know the feeling so well and do sympathise, as you say it’s a vicious circle.
I have joined my local weight watchers club and have lost 16lb in just 7 weeks and it feels amazing.
If however you can’t afford to join a club or anything here are a few tips:- Just have 3 healthy meals a day, snack on low fat yoghurt and fruit in-between meals and try to do at least 30 mins exercise a day. Now if you really must have that bar of chocolate or slice of cake have it, enjoy it, put it behind you and move on. We can’t be perfect all the time and banning something completely from your diet can make you crave it even more.
For instance I couldn’t resist a rather large slice of cake on Saturday, so I ate it and really enjoyed it. Later that day I did an hours exercise on the wii fit instead of my usual 30 mins and was extra good the following day, hopefully this will balance things out and that slice of cake won’t be a problem.
Good Luck
Carole
Just think energy in – energy out – the energy out has to be greater than the energy in to lose weight.
Thank you and well done you that is amazing to loose that amount well done. Thanks for all the advice that is great I am going to have to just knuckle down I think and really concentrate on this xx
Awww honey – maybe your melt down was good in that it might force you to make the changes that you have been wanting to for ages? My OH really struggles with his weight – he is the same in that he comfort eats a lot because he feels he is overweight in the 1st place. I think you just need to get to a point where enough is enough. He has signed up for a charity bike ride in Sept and is determined to get fit for that, so he has been really good cutting out most of his junk food and exercising as he has a goal to work towards. It is hard for the first week or so but then it gets so much easier. Oh, and dog walking as well – you mightn’t feel like doing it or be absolutely shattered – but try and head out for a walk, usually it actually helps revitalise me a bit where I would have wanted to go to bed before!! Good luck xx
Thank you so much, I need some sort of goal I think. I need something to aim for, and am not sure what at the moment but I will have a bit of think and try and think of something xx
I think you probably needed that mini-meltdown, just so your husband can truly understand how down you feel about yourself. Now he knows, he can help. And I hope he does.
In my opinion, it’s lovely hearing compliments off other people. It’s lovely knowing that your hub loves you and still finds you gorgeous. It’s lovely having other people commend you and notice any weight you’ve lost. But until you are comfortable in your own skin and you can look at yourself and agree with them, it still needs sorting.
Good luck with whatever you try to do hun – I hope your next blog post re: this can be a positive one!
Hugs xx
You have so nailed it there, it is lovely hearing all these things, and I am not just doing it to get the comments, but I just don’t believe it at the moment and that is the problem. Until that happens they just fall on deaf ears to be honest. Isn’t that awful. xx
I like to think I’m a truely honest person who tells things the way they are… And here’s what I think. You are gorgeous!!! Beautiful BEAUTIFUL lady!!! Mr L and Baba are very lucky to have such a fantastic lady in their lives!! 😀
Find all the yummiest healthy food you can find, sounds silly and it may of just worked for my crazy head but when I was doing all that stupid of exercise (which im trying to get my body back into) I had to give up all the cheesecake and all the cookies and other yummy stuff but then I found healthier options/food which I enjoyed even more! I’ve not had cheesecake since new year!! (rocks back & forth!) I never use to eat it much but tuna pasta bake has become my new cheesecake because its rather yummy. Does that make sense?
You’re going to start calling me your weird friend from the Shire soon arnt you!? ;o)
Xx
Oh thank you you are lovely, I love tuna pasta bake, I am so going to make this soon now. I need to crack the exercise part of this, I need a few more hours in the day to fit it all in xx
I know exactly how you feel and it can be so depressing!
I am trying to lose weight for our wedding but even though I know this is in my near future and I don’t want to look like a big fat bride I do lack willpower.
I’m following Slimming World, but not going to the classes – I have the books from a few years ago (when I did manage to lose quite a lot). People do sell them (and WW books) on eBay so that might be a lower cost way of doing it?
I think although the food is a big thing, the bigger thing is the exercise. I was going to exercise classes but had to stop as the times did not really fit in with the family and I’ve noticed now just how much they were helping! I have started trying to take more walks with buns in the pushchair, and it does seem to be helping me get back on track.
I hope you’re able to find something that works for you and please don’t feel you are alone in feeling like this – there are lots of people who understand!
I could have written this post myself! I am exactly the same but my brain and mouth don’t seem to be singing from the same sheet. The fatter I get, the more I eat and, like you say, hate being invited out anywhere. I’m fed up being asked when the baby is due when it’s just the flab leftover from my ‘baby’ who is now 3 years old. I wish you lots of luck. Perhaps we could motivate each other? xx
Oh that sounds like a brilliant plan I need someone to motivate me that is for sure! I am so rubbish at doing it on my own, need someone beside me telling me what to do. I like the idea of motivating each other! Mmm what could we do? xx
I totally understand. I mentally allowed for nine months to return to pre-pregnancy weight and with four days to go I’ve still got another 18lb! I never bargained on just how little time I’d have to concentrate on me, and every time I have a bad night with Baby Badger all I want to eat the next day is chocolate. It’s very easy to ignore until there’s a reason to get out of the jeans and t-shirt mummy uniform, isn’t it?! It was my gran’s 90th birthday party a few weeks ago and I found it really depressing that the only smart pair of trousers I had were the ones I wore to a party six months ago, and they weren’t any looser…
It is so depressing isn’t it I hate it, there is just never enough time to do things to make it better. It is a nightmare! xx
I know exactly how you feel , I feel the same. Sorry to learn about your meltdown, I sometimes think they are sent to give us a nudge in the right direction. I wish you luck with your weight loss as at times it isn’t easy but with the determination you have I’m sure you will succeed.
I had a wake up call a few weeks ago, doctor said I had high cholesterol not overly high but combined with unstable blood pressure he said your heading very rapidly towards a stroke. It scared me but now I am doing something about it.
So good luck you need any support we are here for you xxx
Thank you I totally need support, I know I have to and I know I want to but getting the motivation and inspiration to do it is another thing! xx
Hi there, I’m sorry you’re feeling so low 🙁 There’s some good advice above – you just need to start SOMETHING. One change at a time. Make a change today & stick with it – it could be drink more water, eat no (or even one less ;)) chocolate bar, go for a brisk walk, go shopping & don’t buy any biscuits. It can seem like such a big mountain to climb, but until you start climbing, it (& you) will only get bigger. There is a lot of support out there – the #mumentum mums on twitter, try @thinkingslimmer to readjust your mindset, join the MuTu System facebook page for ongoing support, arrange to go for walks with a friend so you can’t not go. It doesn’t matter – but ask for support, then take it & use it. We’ve discussed it before, but until you learn to love that body a little, you’re not going to take care of it. Good luck & start something today! Then maybe blog it so you feel more accountable? X
Thank you I am going to start doing all of that! I am getting the motivation back I promise and I will get there! xx