Grief Is Hard

I haven’t blogged much this week, because you know what grief is hard.

You focus so much on the anniversaries, and the birthdays and celebrations that actually those days are never that difficult.

Its the days after.

They are the ones I feel the worst on.

The ones I struggle with.

And the ones I want to hide away from everything.

I always feel like this after babyloss awareness week as well.

And this year was doubly worse.

I don’t need to be reminded my baby has died.

I know that and I feel it and live it everyday.

I could step away from babyloss awareness week, and I do think about it.

But I truly believe it is vital that people talk about babyloss.

So I don’t

But it takes me a while to recover.

And this year it has taken even longer.

There was too much sadness at one time.

Too much pain.

And too much having to stay happy at the same time.

Which has just lead to a bit of a meh week.

You never know if you will be ok.

You never know if that is what you need to do.

Until it has happened.

Sometimes its fine.

Sometimes its too much.

Sometimes you need to stop and just be.

This week that was me.

And all of it is ok!