Changing!

I need to change a few things around here at the moment, certain things are not working anymore. I have to work and I know that but at the moment work is taking up every ounce of my time, and I am not getting to spread time with Mr L or Baba and that annoys me. I decided to work from home, purely so that I could spend time with them. I wanted to work for myself so that I could fit things around them both.

This isn’t happening, this last weekend I spent all weekend working and didn’t get to see any of them. Saturday they were out, and Sunday they were out. This is not I planned would happen.

I appreciate that it will happen from time to time. But not all the time every weekend. Doing that will never make me happy. It is hard enough that Mr L is now working most weekends so our days as a family have gone from two a week to one maybe none a week! Which means our time together is precious and unfortunately it is me that has to maneuver my week around as I am the one that can move everything around. But it has to be done.

I need more of a routine, I need to sleep and need to do less procastrinating and more work, and less faffing and more structure.

I want to work, I enjoy my work. But I also want to be around for all the things that Baba does, hence why I am at home that is the decision Mr L and I made. So I don’t want to be stuck working all day and Baba sat watching TV. Again I know some of these days will happen life isn’t perfect but I don’t want to be doing that every single day. That is not fair on him or on me.

I am not sure how I am going to achieve this I am going to have to sort some very set times, for being mum, and partner and working. They all need their own time, I need to balance all the balls, but I just need to shift them about a bit. The most important things seems to have been pushed down the scale and that is not making me happy. Me being unhappy means I can not be productive Vicious Circle springs to mind.

All I know at the moment is I am not happy and the people around me are not happy so something needs to happen. Something needs to give / change and it is going to!