Big School

This time last week, I had just finished the nervous wait of hearing of which big school Baba had been accepted into.

I had never really thought about it last year, or even as the time became closer. Never really thought about how many times I would check my email in one morning, and how many times I would hit the refresh button on my email to make sure that I hadn’t missed that important email.

It did take all morning and I was just on my way to pick Baba up from preschool about 1pm before I even found out.

The joy of seeing the first choice that we picked was fantastic.

I had never contemplated what we would do if he didn’t get into his first choice or how I would feel. Mr L had and had quite seriously told me that I would be homeschooling Baba if he didn’t get in. So I am pleased that he did as I don’t think either myself or Baba would have coped with that.

We were lucky there were lots of people who haven’t got into their first choices around here, and I am so relieved that we did.

Baba was really not concerned. Until he heard about the things that big school does, he thought then it was quite interesting and is now a little more excited.

But over the last week the realisation has hit.

Baba goes to a small preschool and the boys that are leaving this year are all split.

Baba isn’t going to know anyone at his big school. I feel sick to the stomach when I think about it. Mr L was the cool kid at school he has no issues about Baba going to school. But I worry that people wont like him. That he wont like school and every other worry in the world.

I look at him and he doesn’t seem big enough to go. It is the start of such a big era of his life that is it for the next ten plus years and I want him to enjoy it and like it and not hate it and battle it.

He isn’t our little baby anymore, there is this big boy bursting to come out and I love watching him grow. Although I wish he would slow down a little. He is our big boy now, as we keep getting told, and he is correct.

He wants to learn, I am glad of that, in that respect I think he will love it. He wants to know about life and everything that is around him. And it will be good for him to have new friends.

But already I am so emotional about him taking the leap.

He loves the children, and the teachers at preschool and I don’t want him to leave them. If they could all just go up with him that would be fantastic.

That first day is looming being that he only does one full day, and two mornings at preschool there really are not very many left until he is no longer a preschooler but a child.

A child that goes to school.

Everyday

All day

And is only here for the full days at the weekend

And I am not sure I am ready to let go yet, I am not sure I am ready for any of it at all!

How did you cope when your first child went to school?