Bad Day
Yesterday Baba and I fell out, big time.
I am not usually the one to shout in our house, Mr L usually does enough of it for the both of us. Sure I can shout back at Mr L, but I try my hardest not to shout at Baba or around him. It takes a lot to push me to that point. Yesterday Baba achieved it.
We got a laptop for Christmas as a joint present from the in-laws, but upstairs we have a desktop computer, now it is a few years old, but works OK. The memory is nearly full that is about all. So it is still used for lots of things.
Yesterday we went to get dressed and Baba was in his room while I went in the bathroom. I wasn’t long, but obviously long enough. When I came out, he had opened my makeup bag and got out the baby lotion, this had been poured over the hallway carpet! Bad enough I know then I looked further and he had poured it over the hard drive of the computer, luckily just on the top. I think! Over the keyboard and was standing pouring it over the computer desk.
I lost it, and really shouted. I was so angry with him I don’t think I have ever been that angry with him before.
I shocked him and scared him I think, he burst into tears. I felt bad and he was screaming, then Mr L was on the phone, he spoke to Baba and Baba asked “daddy to come home, mummy was mean” I then cried. It was an awful few moments.
We both said sorry and gave each other a cuddle, and then Baba went off to his nannies, I felt bad all day. I ate chocolate, that didn’t work and had biscuits that didn’t work. Everything just felt bad. I felt deflated.
I think it was because I had never got really angry where I had made him cry like that before. I know this is motherhood, and that I am sure there are going to be many more times when this happens. But it was horrible. I think I was more angry with myself. I was mad that I got that upset and that quickly. I always prided myself on the fact that I was the one that could remain calm, and I hadn’t at this precise moment. It frustrated me and bugged me all day.
Mr L told me I was irrational but it still niggled at me, until I went to bed last night to be honest. I have woke up feeling better now, Baba has forgotten all about it, but it is still bugging me a little. Do you have any tips not to loose it? Or am I being irrational? I don’t know!
Aww, hugs to you. It happens everyone sometime and tbh I probably would have done the same thing and felt exactly the same afterwards. My eldest is 8 and I have only shouted like that a few times in his lifetime and I remember them so clearly and how horrible I felt afterwards. It won’t happen often, not when you feel this way, but we are all only human and have our limits. Jen xx
Very wise words there thank you xx
I’m sure that he only cried because he was shocked! I only remember really shouting at Chick twice when she was small but she doesn’t seem too affected by it! Now we have screaming arguments most mornings whilst I’m trying to persuade her to get ready for school 😉
Oh bless her. I think that he was shocked as well bless him he has never really heard me shout before I don’t think xx
Despite every expert advising not to lose it, not to shout, remain calm and measured, sometimes it’s just not possible. Obviously it’s not the norm but losing one’s rag is part and parcel.
No one messes with the tech in our house without risking a six-pack of whuppass. 😀
I know it is a bit like that in our house with technology as well and Baba knows that too which is why I was so annoyed x
I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself hon. We all lose it at times, too often is unhealthy, but I don’t think once in a while does any harm and though it is upsetting all round, I think it can be good for kids to know that there are limits and lines you don’t cross. We’re all only human at the end of the day, and it is good for Baba to know that you too are human and that things upset you too so he will learn never to cross that line and be *that* naughty again. Lesson learnt hopefully x
Oh I hope so I really do xx
I feel your pain. However I can’t offer much advice except to say wait till he is five you will yell more x x x
Thanks for the heads up appreciate that xx