A Bad Diet Day

Today there is not much to say except I had a bad day.

I have been pretty emotional, and feeling blah, things have been happening at home, things that are minor things but have got to me.

I have been emotional, writing my blog post the other day it got to me.

I know what is wrong with me I can tell you know it’s Rhianna’s due date on the 5th July. The day that she should have been here, it doesn’t mean a lot to other people. Why should it, it is just a normal day to them.

To me it is different.

It is a day I should be planning a party, a day that if she made it should be celebrated.

Instead it is a non special day.

One that is just nothing.

And it gets to me.

And it makes me eat.

Today I ate nearly a whole cake.

That wont get me into my wedding dress.

That stresses me out

That makes me eat.

Today I am seriously wondering if I should get rid of my ideal dress and settle for being an extremely fat bride.

I don’t want to do that but I think it may be easier.

I only have to the 30th of August and nothing is working

I am destined to be fat

And then I eat cake

And lots of it

Today has been a bad day

I feel bad

I want to eat more cake I am resisting

That is making me feel worse

It is all just a bad day