Where To Go, What To Do

I have been feeling really out of sorts for most of this year to be honest.

I just feel like I am not doing what I should be in life, but I don’t necessarily know what I should be doing either.

It is feeling I have definitely been feeling on and off all year, its a restlessness I suppose. Maybe it is because I am forty next year.

Maybe it has been heightened because for most of the year, we have been stuck at home, or very local areas at least and actually I am feeling a bit caged in.

I am not really sure.

But it is a feeling that is really nagging me.

And has really been bothering me for a while.

I just feel like I can do more, but more of what I don’t know.

I am definitely a person that takes on everything, and maybe actually that is my down fall, because I take on everything nothing is done to the ability that I think I should be doing it at. So I am never really happy with what I have achieved.

I am my worst critic I know that for certain, things that I do that people love, I actually never really love. Maybe I should a little more.

The other issue I have is that I am a person that loves many things, and they are actually so vast, and so different that none of them link together at all.

I love writing, I love crafting, I love make up and skincare, I love to read, I love interiors and photography but none of them really gel together.

Or maybe they do, but I am thinking about it so much that I can’t see it at all.

I think that is the biggest issue, I know that I want to do something else, but I am thinking about it all so much that I am blinded by the fact that I want to do something but can’t for the life of me see what that is!

So I sit here, doing not a lot at all.

In all this time while I have been feeling like this I have actually been the least productive of my time, than ever before.

I have no clear path.

I am a person that likes a plan.

At the moment I have none and it is actually driving me insane.

And I wish I knew what the plan was and where I want to be but at the moment I am completely at a loss and it is driving me a little bit mad!