Sorting Out My Head

I recently blogged about how I just haven’t been feeling it and have been struggling this month, missing Rhianna and the new year.

But that wasn’t everything has been going on in my head.

Subconsciously I turned 39 this month, next January I turn 40 I feel, god only knows why, that I should be sorted now.

Sorted in my career.

Sorted at home.

I should be a grown up.

I so don’t feel a grown up.

I feel like I am juggling a lot of plates but none of the plates are at their fullest and presented in their best way.

I also feel like I am stood at a bit of a crossroads and I could take a few different paths but I have no clue what way to take.

I feel I should have achieved something by now and I haven’t.

I feel I should know what I am aiming for and I don’t.

I feel like I blurghh.

If I am totally honest I feel pretty stuck.

And because I feel like it I have shut everything off to protect myself from taking a leap into a bit of the unknown.

So I have felt pretty stuck for a while.

So I decided I had to get rid of this and try to work through it as it is clearly not going away.

And it isn’t necessarily a thing hubby can help with I spoke to him and got told only I can decide what to do or where to go!

But the big problem is I don’t know what to decide.

So I headed to my friends last night and bashed out some ideas and tried to sort out the confusion that is currently my head.

We got through a few things, but I still have a way to go.

I do feel better.

I don’t feel as stuck.

And I feel I can bash this down.

And work out where I want to end up.

Today I feel happier.

Today I feel a little bit more focused.

Today I feel more productive.

Today I feel grateful that I have friends and family around me to help unblock the issues that have me stuck at the moment.

And with that I can get through this blurgh!