New Stage?
Baba is being quite difficult at the moment, the last week or so his temper has really come out. And it is very true what they say about red heads, he has got a foul temper.
Never before have I had to ring Mr L at work and get him to try to pacify Baba over the phone like I have had to over the last couple of weeks.
Baba is determined he knows exactly what he wants, but doesn’t always have the correct language to get across what it is. This is resulting in mega tantrums. He has started to lash out, scream, and I mean a blood curdling high pitched scream, he stamps his feet, he goes rigid and refusing to do anything that you ask of him.
It is horrible to watch and even more horrible to live through, we try ignoring, we try removing himself out of the situation and we have tried putting him on the step, taking toys away all seem to work a little bit and on some days. But nothing seems to have that permanent effect.
It is becoming really draining, it is making Mr L and I disagree on how to deal with it and it is not making our days nice. We are all a bit stumped. I am sure it is a phase he will go through, but at the moment it is hard. Yesterday he was good all day and as the afternoon went on his meltdowns were increasing until he had a massive one at my mums that took about an hour to get out off. It was really stressful and he was not giving in, (that will be his red headed temper and his mothers stubbornness there). He eventually had to be shout out in the hall and the only thing that stopped the tantrum, was the fire alarm going off, and yes we try distraction with him regularly! Once that happened he seemed to come out of the strop but he was still very tetchy for a while after.
Today he has had a mega lay in and I am not sure whether he is just generally tired. When he sleeps he is fab at sleeping but he has dropped his daytime sleeps and will play upstairs in his bed till about 8pm maybe 8.30pm even if he has been put in bed at 7pm and he is up at 6am most days I really feel that he should have more sleep and today he did sleep in till 8.45am so I am not sure whether that is a factor?
Maybe it is just a phase? But I wish it would go quick and we would get our nice little man back again. Have any of you been through this what is your advice?
Oh I’m so glad that I’m not in your position….I remember my first son was horrendous. Even though M does have the odd tantrum I think I’ve cracked it at last. I never ever react. I usually ignore tantrums or if it’s been going on for a while I try and give them a big hug and tickle to try and distract and get them to forget what they are cross about.
I’ve probably got some other tips if you need any advice. It’s a horrible phase but it does get better and you can help in these situations. Xx
Thank you so much I may take you up on these tips to be honest I need something to help that is for sure! xx
Reading that back, it sounds awful when I say I’m glad I’m not in your position what I mean is it seems so much worse the first time. I meant it in a helpful way. 😉 xxx
Don’t worry I understand xx
I so feel your pain. You’ll be glad to hear the last couple of days the little one has started to have fewer of the naughty incidents and more of the “listening” ones.
We have had to be very consistent on what is unacceptable and what the consequences are but we’ve also been hamming up the positives sooooo much. We’ve been clapping, dancing and praising even the smallest hint of good behaviour. When she has a run of good behaviour I take her out for a special treat – Starbucks, McD’s, a run in the park. She is told quite clearly that if she is good, when I finish work, we will do these things. If she’s naughty we won’t.
I am really hoping we’re on our way out of this phase because it is hugely stressful
I think that is such a good idea thank you, I shall be using that. Baba loves going out when Mr L comes home from work so I think we are going to take this on, and he only gets to go if he has been good for the day xx
I, like your other commenters, remember that phase with a shudder! A couple of things I picked up from a parenting class (which was brilliant) and some tv prog I can’t remember the name of: take an opportunity when Baba is doing something happily himself to join in his activity just for 5 minutes, but not to direct or change, just reinforce his actions with your comments/actions. I had got bogged down with “bad” behaviour so if there was peace I ignored him, when I changed to giving him time when he was doing something “good”the change in his behaviour was unbelievable. I think my son was a bit older though. Also don’t worry about public embarrassment, abandon trolley if necessary!
Thank you they are great tips will be using them xx