Loving Cleaning… Really!

I am not an overly organised person, in actual fact I probably the most disorganised person ever. I will have a blitz get a little organised and then within a couple of days it all goes to mayhem, and once again we are living in a tip and nothing can be found anywhere.

When Mr L was in hospital I started to clean and I didn’t really stop. I was on a mission and I was stupidly on a mission. I know I was. I had this weird thing going on in my head that I had to clean I had to get the house sorted, as somewhere in my brain I was blaming all the mess for Rhianna Lily. Now I know that wasn’t true, but at the time I think it was ever think that or go into complete and utter meltdown, it was my defence mechanism at the time, I needed something to blame and I needed something to sort. I also needed the mess out of the way otherwise I felt that Mr L would never get better, again I know that was completely irrational. I would like to make clear I know all of this was irrational but at the time it was the only thing I could do.

I have not cleaned like I cleaned that week for a long time, and even when Mr L was home I was not stopping. I stayed up late into the night, cleaning window frames, dusting, sorting out toys, moving books into the right places and sorting through mounds of paper work.

When it was finally finished I felt that I could finally relax. I felt that I could step back into the craft room and make things, and I felt an overwhelming sense of release almost that the house was tidy.

Mr L was impressed but I could see that he didn’t think that it would last, and I know that I didn’t think it would either. I thought after a couple of days the house would start getting in a mess again like it always does. But something seemed to click this time.

I seemed to like having a nice clean house and I liked the routine of keeping on top of it.

I have it down to an art now and everything is staying clean and tidy and I seem to be on top of anything. I love walking down to a clean house in the morning, and I love going to bed leaving a clean house behind me.

I feel like my head is clearer, I can sit down and write, and I can sit down and craft undistracted, rather than being distracted by the cleaning or the washing pile that has to be done, or put away. Instead I can fully concentrate on the things that I need to be doing, trying to make money and doing what I love crafting and writing.

I am loving my clean house! And loving cleaning it (never thought I would say that)