Lockdown Thinking

Lockdown gives you a chance to think doesn’t it.

I have been thinking a lot recently.

About the decisions we have made in the past.

The crossroads we crossed to get where we are today.

And the plans we had and have for the future.

And I am not entirely sure where we are is where I really want us to be.

I have so many things I want to do.

And I have become a bit of let’s wait until this.

Let’s leave it until this is OK.

Or that is sorted.

Let’s just wait and see.

And I am not sure that is the person I want to be.

I am not sure that I want to keep talking myself out of these things.

Making myself think what we are doing is enough.

When it possibly isn’t any more.

I am not sure entirely where I want to be or where I want to be going.

But I am itchy for something.

Right now I can’t pin point it down.

But I know I needed to open my wings so to speak.

I need to find that thing.

As I don’t think I have found it entirely.

I need to do something.

Something more than what we are doing now.

I don’t know what I don’t know when I don’t know how.

I just know something.

There’s something not in our clasp quiet yet and I know I need it.

We need it.

But I don’t know what or how or when.

But I know there is something else.

Something more.

And I will find it.

I will see it.

But right this moment it’s sitting just a bit too far.

But it will come I know it will come.

It always does.

When the time is right.

But until then I need to think.

I need to work it out.

I need to decide the best plan of action!

It’s definitely keeping me on my toes.

And it will until I really know what it is I want, need and will have!

Is it the lockdown?

Is it me?

Is it everyone?

Who knows.

It’s a strange feeling though.

It’s odd as I am so certain but what I am certain off I have no idea!