Exploding

I currently am feeling like I may just explode, I am running around with so many heads on and I am quite literally getting myself confused.

I am Mummy, doing OK have to say, I would always like to spend more time with Baba but we are OK!

I am partner, failing I don’t know when I last really saw or spoke properly to Mr L.

I am housewife (hate that word but I am) fail, fail, fail. I tidied for the first time yesterday in weeks it took me all day and I still have the kitchen to do.

I am the owner of Scrapbookerry, failing I launched the site, I haven’t yet had a chance to update the shops, or post a blog on the site.

I am the craft writer for BDT, doing OK at that have to say.

Blog writer and owner, failing at this at the moment.

So I am failing more than I am coping. I get confused and don’t know what I am supposed to be doing next. I have a huge pile of ironing and paperwork to sort at home. Always fun but unfortunately necessary and still have the kitchen to finish!

I have reviews to write, I am sorry if I owe you one, I am getting there. I have loads of Project 365 pictures to post, I have been taking them just haven’t been posting them. I have unwritten posts all over the place. My blog is no longer the place I love and the place that it was, the little stories of Baba have got less and I think my posts have got worse, I have been writing them quick and not thinking and I hate that. I have comments sitting waiting to be approved and replied, I will get there I honestly will.

Scrapbookerry is my other baby, I have so many plans for it and am scribbling and making in every spare moment, but I just can’t seem to find the time to get the actual thing of the flaming ground. I need more hours in the day. I want to get a good blog going, I have shops that have been set up online that need to be filled and I just haven’t had the time. And the worst thing is I am not doing all these things, all I have to do is send an email. To send an email is a task in itself at the moment.

I have hundreds of emails sitting in my inbox and they need to be sorted! Trust me there are loads, I apologise if I owe you one I will get there!

I am also writing for BDT, which I love and really isn’t stressing me out at all. I am on top of that! I just need to keep to it and not wreck that! It is just everything else.

I started this blog for a reason I wanted to write, when I started I was also studying a creative writing course. Things happened and life got in the way, I haven’t picked up that course for a long time.

Last week I got a bolt out of the blue when I saw a friend was very poorly and by Monday it had really hit when they unfortunately passed away. I have been sad and it knocked me for six for a while, but it has made me very determined to finish my course. My friend was so supportive of my writing in the short time that I knew her, and was so happy that I was doing the course and that I was writing the blog. That I am desperate to finish it. I want to do it for me and for her! I want her to see that I can complete it.

So I need more time, since Monday I have been poorly and haven’t been in a great place. I have literally been falling asleep as soon as I hit the pillow! Not like me at all. This is always a sign to me that I am stressed.

I haven’t picked up my trusty Filofax in a while and I need to start doing a little colour coding, I need space and I need time.

I have a gorgeous craft area under the stairs, and there is nothing more that I like than working with the back door open, dog by me with the sun blazing in. I don’t think I shall be moving that. But I need to make it more functional. Mr L and I have talked about moving it upstairs to the office. But I love my office.

The office is our serious place, it holds all the paperwork for everything, finances, home, Baba’s stuff everything. It also has all my old course work and studying materials. It also has all my family history stuff in there which is really important to me and a very trusty computer that just needs a bit of a sort out I think. Once that is up to top scratch again we will be up there a lot more.

I am not sure whether to swap them or not, I would only be able to move the paperwork, as the computer would have to stay up in the office due to no plugs down in the hall, I would then have a different table than the one I have that I work with. I would always be upstairs a lot on my days working and the dog is not allowed upstairs so he would be on his own. I am just not sure it would work, but there is a part of me that would love a proper art room. But I also think I would want to change everything about the office as it is now, and we can’t afford for me to do that! It is something I am going to have to think about and see whether I actually have the space for it downstairs. Ideally we need another room downstairs!

But the one space I want to change is working from my lap on the sofa, I am getting a really bad back, and to be honest I have a gorgeous Bureaus in my kitchen that I have always loved to write from, so I need to start using it. Maybe then my course will be a little more productive.

I really need to work out when I can do what, and set a plan in motion. I need a file of the things waiting to be done, and being done. I need plans for posts for here, BDT and Scrapbookerry. I need lists of the things to be made for Scrapbookerry. I need my Filofax.

It is coming out in full force, later today. Once I have finished the ironing and the kitchen. Do you craft / write? Where do you do it? How do you organise it? Would love to hear all your ideas.