Behaviour!
Baba has always been strong-willed and to be honest Mr L and I like that he knows his own mind, wont be pushed into things and wont be influenced by others. However on occasions this can cause a few issues.
As he is very strong-willed with us and knows what he wants with us, if he doesn’t want to do something or we do it in the wrong way trouble quickly appears. He has always been like that, and it has been controllable.
However recently it has got worse and worse and it has not just been that, his behaviour in general has got worse. Mr L has really taken the brunt of it, being beat up, and bitten regularly and recently it has been transferred to me. His favourite thing at the moment is to hit me around the face when the world upsets him, or it doesn’t go his way.
At first we really did think that it was because he was being moved from pillar to post with everything that was happening, and gave him the benefit of the doubt. We then thought that it was because he didn’t know how to express himself and gave him the benefit of the doubt again. To be honest it could quite easily be all of these things. However can we still give him the benefit of the doubt?
We have gone down all the routes that have been tried before, we have used the naughty step, taking away of the toys, using a sticker chart all of these things have worked previously with him. However this time they seem to be doing nothing. Everything we try seems to have no effect.
He hits out, bites, slaps, and screams in your face we deal with it we go through all the processes he says sorry and then moments later he is doing the exact same thing again. It is relentless Mr L and I are drained. He seems to be fine everywhere else and we seem to get all the backlash.
The last couple of days he has had me in tears on occasions as when he slaps he slaps hard and it really hurts. He has had Mr L at the end of his tether and there seems to be no way out of this.
Have you ever dealt with this? How did you work around it? What things worked for you?
Any help would be appreciated
I’m sorry that life is such a challenge with Baba right now. I am fortunate not to have gone through this (yet!) but in my job I offer advice on “behaviour” to alot of pre-schools.
My first advice would be to do an ABCC chart. Although you may think it is when he doesnt get his own way you may find by recording incidences that there is a more specific trigger that you can then work on.
Most of the strategies I then suggest you seem to have tried but there is a good book called The Explosive Child which talks about being proactive. Basically their strategy says you will opt for plan A or plan C, one of which involves giving in to the child and the other insisting they comply resulting in an explosion. They say you should use plan B which involves finding a mutually satisfactory path. This can be done on an emergency basis =, eg when they are already getting het up but should be done proactively, well before a situation that you know is likely to be a problem.
I hope that helps, and good luck 🙂
Thank you that is all great I will try to find that book xx
Kezz,
ABC data. You remember? There is a function to his Behaviour. Figure that out and you can figure out a solution. When does it usually occur? Email me if you want to discuss further (im crap at picking up the phone at the mo). Xxx
Yes I do remember I will pull them out have some some where. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern of when it occurs. But will email if I notice anything thanks xx
You may not “notice” a pattern until you take some data. Just do it for a few days and I promise you’ll see a pattern.
Will do thanks he seems to have been brilliant the last couple of days, but have also made a real effort just to lower the tone of my voice when he does something and it seems to be making a difference currently. Will keep you posted xx