Dear So And So…. Arghhhh!!
You are a dog! Right lets get this straight, when you ask to go out, that means you need to go out you need the toilet. That is why we trained you to go out. Just because it is raining do not run back inside you are a bloody dog!!! For god sake don’t be such a girl about the rain!
So then when I come home and you have used my hallway as a toilet again!!! After asking and refusing to go out four times this morning because of the rain, I am mad! Extremely mad!
So here’s the new rules, if you can’t use my house properly for what it is intended. Fun, sleep and food, NOT the toilet. You are living outside starting today! Right you are seriously on your last warning, listen boy. Otherwise that shed is going to be your home!
Your furious fed up owner!
Dear Old Lady Who Nearly Crashed Into My Car.
Road rules love, they are simple when someone is coming from straight ahead of you on the roundabout and they are indicating right, and there is only straight over to where you are coming from or turning right. You need to STOP!!! You silly silly mare, if you can not see me indicating because of bad eyes or too slow a reaction, get out of the car and do not I repeat do not sit behind the car wheel again. Understand me.
I had to swerve across the roundabout for you to miss me today, and you are flaming lucky that Baba was not in the car, as it was his side.
You are a liability get off the road!!
A very mad, mad driver.
Do you know what you are going the wrong way not up, it should be going down. Just go take a flying jump will you, I hate you, I don’t like you, I don’t want you around anymore.
A grumpy me.
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