Believe in Yourself

I have spent a lot of this year trying to get my confidence up in myself.

I think after nearly 8 years of loosing Rhianna is I second guess myself a lot. I never realised she wasn’t moving, and it is something I have held all this time.

I wouldn’t have felt it as her placenta was at the front like with her brothers but it has definitely left me with doubt in myself.

For a long time it left me with complete guilt.

I managed to get over that to some degree, however it really left me loosing confidence in myself and only making decisions with Mr L agreeing or saying yes go for it.

But at some point that has to stop.

I was never like that before Rhianna died and I don’t want to rely on Mr L.

So this year I have worked hard on believing in myself again.

The self doubt has really affected every part of my life.

I doubt my decisions at home, with my friends, and within my work all the time.

And I want to stop that.

So I have really been working hard to stop doubting and start believing.

I took a break from Tropic to get my head around that, and you know what it really helped.

I took a break I spent time with the boys with Mr L and we had the best holiday we have ever had with them. Spending quality time, making the best decisions for them and us.

And knowing what we were doing was right for us all!

And I have come back to Tropic energised and actually believing in myself for once.

Believing I can do what I want to achieve, that I can get to the goals that I want to and actually not doubting myself every step of the day.

I feel more confident with my decisions, and I know I did the right thing for me and our family by actually walking away for a little while.

And working things out in my own head.

I don’t doubt that this doubt will creep back in, it always does doesn’t it. But I know I can work on it, I know I used to be better at making decisions and I know that I can do that again without doubting myself every few minutes.

And I am determined to be more in the space of confidence with my decisions than in the space of doubting my decisions.

It’s amazing what some self belief does for you!