Life Without Rhianna Lily

Six Years Ago We Found Out You Were A Girl

Six Years Ago We Found Out You Were A Girl

6 years ago we found out you were a little girl. 6 years ago we decided on your name. 6 years ago our lives were so happy. So naive You feel pregnant you got a gorgeous baby at the end of it and it was […]

Six Years!

Six Years!

Tomorrow is a month until Rhianna Lily’s birthday. Tomorrow is a month until her anniversary. One month until she should be six. Instead we have lived 6 years without her, 6 years without any of her smiles, cuddles, laughter, tears, and just her growing. 6 […]

Miscarriage, Late Miscarriage, Stillbirth and No Birth Certificate

Miscarriage, Late Miscarriage, Stillbirth and No Birth Certificate

This past week I have been following the news about registering your baby if they are born before 24 weeks, and listened to MP Sharon Hodgson talking in parliament about her stillborn baby, who never received a birth certificate as she was born a couple […]

A Completed Family

A Completed Family

Recently we have had lots of discussions about whether people’s families are complete and if they are done having babies. It is something I really struggle with personally. Whenever anyone asks me they get the same response, “we are done” But that doesn’t mean we are complete. We will never […]

Rhianna Lily’s Birthday

Rhianna Lily’s Birthday

Last week was Rhianna’s birthday. And as per usual it was a hard week. We spent a lot of the week trying to decide what to do for her birthday because for the first time since her first birthday Mr L and I were on […]

New Flowers for Rhianna Lily

New Flowers for Rhianna Lily

I decided yesterday that Rhianna’s flowers that Boo picked on the first of the month would need to be replaced today. After Baba had cubs we had to nip to the shops, and we decided then that he would choose her next bunch of flowers […]

A Month of Flowers, 15 Days Later

A Month of Flowers, 15 Days Later

Fifteen days ago, we brought our first bunch of flowers for Rhianna Lily. Fifteen days later, they are still going strong, and have just started to turn. They have been the longest bunch of flowers ever. They are still looking beautiful. And brighten up our […]

Flowers for Rhianna Lily

Flowers for Rhianna Lily

Yesterday I wrote about Baba’s idea of a month of flowers for Rhianna Lily. Today I saw these flowers in our front garden. At first I didn’t know what they were and was baffled where they had come from. Then after some chatting with a […]

A Month of Flowers

A Month of Flowers

It’s March and it has hit hard. Last week I didn’t sleep at all to be honest, and then went down with a horrible viral thing, that I just could not shake. It’s strange how your body deals with grief and how it makes you […]

Grief is so Complicated

One thing I have learnt since Rhianna died is that every year since it isn’t just her birthday that is hard. It is something that lasts for such a long time. And Mr L and I literally have to drag ourselves through a long time […]