Life Without Rhianna Lily

Grief

Grief

One thing I hate about grief is the unpredictability of it. You can never tell when it will hit. You can never predict when you won’t be ok. And you really live your life on the edge of a cliff for the rest of your […]

Initials

Initials

I have a big thing about initials Looking around our house we have initials of BB, Rhianna and Boo around the house. I am not sure if its something that I would have done if all three of them where here on earth all together, […]

The Final Goodbye

The Final Goodbye

No one should bury their child! No one should stand at a graveside and watch their child’s coffin be lowered into the ground! 6 years ago we did just that. We stood and watched. Watched the tiniest grave be filled by the tiniest coffin. No […]

The Day You Turned Six

The Day You Turned Six

Yesterday was your 6th birthday. It was not a great day. The first time that your daddy ever had to work! And it didn’t work. It was horrible. And will never happen again. We tried it. It doesn’t work. He can not be working on […]

I Wish

I Wish

I wish you could explain the pain you feel when you have buried your own child. I wish you could explain the breaks in your heart and your soul when your child has died. I wish you could explain the cracks and the scars that […]

That Day

That Day

One thing I have learnt over the years is that there are days, especially in March leading up to Rhianna’s birthday and anniversary that I just can’t do. I can never tell you when the days wil come, but they do every single year. And […]

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day

Mother’s day is always a hard one for me. Probably the hardest day of the year. Rhianna’s birthday is hell, but it is all about her. I can cry, scream and be unhappy because it is her day. Christmas day is never fun, but the […]

Flowers, Flowers, Flowers

Flowers, Flowers, Flowers

Once again we are doing a month of flowers for Rhiannas birthday month. Remembering Rhianna isn’t about big massive gestures. Or a huge list of a backbone of memories. We don’t have them. We have one days worth to fill a lifetime. Remembering Rhianna is […]

Sleep, or Lack of Sleep

Sleep, or Lack of Sleep

March the month that sleep and I fall out. I love sleep. I have always struggled to go to sleep but absolutely love sleeping. I have always been a night owl, and life would suit me much better if the world started at 10am! But […]

March!

March!

Every single year I hate March. I dread it for weeks before it starts. And from the 1st till the last week or so I hate it. I cry. Mr L goes into his shell. We both have really short patience levels. We fight. About […]