When Tito got diagnosed with cancer on the 25th February 2014 we got told with pallative care as long as he was happy he could last another two weeks to another few months.
The vet said it was very unlikely he would go in his sleep but that we would get the look. I remember walking out the vets that day wondering what on earth this look was as so many people said it to me.
Twelve days later I understood.
It was the weekend and Titos appetite had got less and less despite having an injection on the Friday to try to increase it.
He was really tired, we had really wanted to take him to the beach that weekend but we knew it would be a selfish visit he just wanted to sleep.
He pottered off to his bed later in the day on the Sunday and he happened to turn around and looked at me.
It was a look I had never seen before.
Tito always had sorrowful eyes, but this was different.
This was the look!
It was sorrowful, pleading, begging.
It was a look of please let me go.
It was I’ve had enough please let me go.
He was ready and it made me instantly cry.
I wasn’t ready but he was and later in the day he gave the same look to Mr L.
He asked he wanted to go
We knew we had to not be selfish and do this for him.
The Monday we booked his appointment, the 10th March 2014. I told him and I swear he looked relieved.
Late afternoon early evening Baba said goodbye, Boo had a lay on him and we dropped the boys at Nannies. First off all I didn’t want to be there, then I just wanted to be there for his sedation. In the end I stayed for his last breath.
Holding him, hugging him, and him inbetween Mr L and I, like he had laid all his life.
Neither of us wanted to let him go but we had to it was just so unfair that it was so soon six was way to young.
The last few months have been really hard. Tito was a unique boy and one that can’t be replaced. He was our boy, our first baby and we miss him so much.
The house is full of him, and it is hard not having him here.
Yesterday we received a gorgeous present from some fellow beagle owners one that made all of us smile. A present that brought back many memories.
It made us cry, it made us smile and it made Tito come alive again. It made us stop and remember and smile at the memories.