I so haven’t wanted to write this post, as somehow writing it down means it is really happening.
It is really happening we are living it, but not putting it out to the whole world means I can some what hide from it.
But I can’t hide forever.
After doing so well moving to a raw diet, Tito stopped eating again. We decided enough was enough, he was either being a complete fussy wotsit or there was something wrong. But whatever it was once and for all we needed to find out.
Tuesday I took him to the vet, he listened he heard what I had to say and he agreed he thought he was being incredibly fussy.
Then he had a feel.
He then decided that he wanted to do some tests, and keep Tito in for a while, he was worried he may have a tumor on his liver, but he assured me that was the worst case scenario.
I left Tito at the vets, devastated.
I went home in a daze and waited.
Two long hours before the vet called.
With the news that Tito had liver cancer, he was riddled with liver cancer, and it was inoperable, and it was untreatable and it was life threatening. Our baby boy was dying!
I went straight back to the vets, got there before they had even brought him around from the sedation and brought him home. I made an appointment with the vet for 4.15 for Mr L and I to talk about his palliative care.
And I sat at home waiting for Mr L and cried.
Our gorgeous loving boy, with the beautiful soul was being taken from us horribly at only 6 years old. He has sat with us, let us cry into him and has the most beautiful bond with Baba, and I didn’t think this day would happen for at least another 6 years not know. Not so soon.
We went to the vets in the afternoon not knowing what to expect and we asked the blunt question. We wanted to know a time – but we weren’t ready for the answer – two weeks to a couple of months!
We were in shock we still are. We have started his palliative care treatment he isn’t in pain, but we are watching every move wondering if he is ok or not, and trying our hardest to still be in charge and not just a crying wreck. He knows he is ill, he is quiet but I am not sure if he knows how ill.
For now we are taking in the snuggles, cuddles and kisses, and spending as much time with our beloved boy, and saving him from his pain, as he has saved us so many times!