I haven’t been blogging recently, it has been a conscious decision really it isn’t that I haven’t got anything to say as the past few weeks I have had lots and lots to say. But I have not wanted to bombard the few people who do read this blog with boring, moaning posts.
To be honest this pregnancy lark I do not do well. I was awfully ill with Baba, was actually sick everyday with him and then suffered the worst hay fever that I have ever had in my whole life. I was grumpy, I cried all the time, I was so hard to live with and Mr L and I fought a lot of the time. He coped literally by going to the pub and going out with his friends. Once I had Baba we went to see some friends who had recently started trying for a baby and I will never forget Mr L telling the husband that living with me while pregnant was like living with the exorcist! That is how bad I was.
I knew that I was sick everyday, it is not something that you can really forget, but I had forgotten about the bad moods, the over reactive emotions and all the other horribleness that comes with being pregnant.
This time I actually thought I had got really lucky I was feeling sick, and oh my I did feel sick every day all day I felt sick until I was about 14 weeks pregnant but not once was I actually sick at all and I was really pleased. However this time I have been plagued with illness, getting sick while pregnant really does suck and it has been horrible. Actually horrible isn’t even the correct word, it is dismal, depressing and makes you so fed up.
It all started the day before Christmas Eve when I stupidly fell down the stairs and hurt my coccyx I have never been in so much pain, that was the first thing to throw a spanner in the works. That fall took me at least 6 weeks to get over, and I still can’t sit in certain positions for long. The car is the worst we seem to have the wrong seats for me to sit comfortably and I am in agony very quickly when we are travelling. It isn’t fun and I can see Mr L’s eyes raise to the heavens when I complain about it, mainly as a HMS sufferer he is in pain everyday but doesn’t try to complain and there I am complaining all the time about my back. Which to be honest is probably nowhere near the same pain threshold as his! But for me it has still been really painful. It is better but it isn’t 100% and I don’t really know when it will be.
No quicker as I was starting to get over the fall, I began to get the virus that Baba and Mr L had been fighting for a while. They both seemed to get over relatively quickly, Baba has still got the same cough but he seems much better than he did. However I still seem to be in the middle of this virus and it seems to be going on forever, I am now in my fourth week of it and I actually feel no better than I did the day that I started it. Things have changed for sure, I can now swallow without crying as my throat no longer hurts that much but other things have taken place of that. So in actual fact I do not feel any better. I have been left with such a cough, that I literally have to have a bottle of drink with me wherever I go, as if I don’t I will start coughing, I will have a coughing fit, and will cough until I am being sick. And as you can all imagine, that is not all my worries, having given birth naturally once and another on the way it is not the best time in my life to be having a coughing fit. Mr L can now tell what has happened by the look on my face, it is not nice it is not pleasant and to say that I am fed up with it is an understatement.
That is not the only problem, I am pregnant with my second child I have a frantic three-year old who wants to do everything and it all in one day everyday! And I am tired! I am oh so tired, I feel like I am missing out on doing things with Baba on a daily basis, I feel like my patience is thin with him and Mr L and I try my hardest not to shout, but being that I haven’t had a proper voice for over three weeks I know that I shout regularly. Just to be heard above the noise to be honest and I hate it.
I hate the way I feel, I hate that I am grumpy, tired, have a sore throat and every time I cough I hate that I feel like my head is literally going to explode on the spot! It feels all fuzzy and I hate it.
But do you know the biggest problem is that I hate that every time I go to the doctors, and trust me I have been a lot in the past two months, all I get told is basically lump it you are pregnant take some paracetamol and shut up your pregnant it will take a while to get over it. I don’t want it to take a while to get over it. I am obviously so happy that I am pregnant and so pleased that we are having a little baby girl, making our family complete, but I don’t like being this poorly while pregnant. I don’t want to miss out on the last few months of being a family of three, because I am sick with this virus that I just have to put up with.
I want to enjoy these last few months, I want to have fun and enjoy preparing for our little girl with Baba, as he is so excited it is amazing. But as it stands at the moment, all I want to do is curl up in a ball, and sleep and pray that the organisation fairies come in and sort the house, get all the stuff that I need and look after Baba.
I am tired, I am fed up and officially this pregnancy sucks!