Every single year I hate March.
I dread it for weeks before it starts.
And from the 1st till the last week or so I hate it.
Mr L goes into his shell.
We both have really short patience levels.
About stupid stuff.
The kids get emotional.
It’s bloody tough.
Everything falls apart.
Including the house.
And its draining.
Emotionally, physically and generally.
This year I needed it to be different.
March will never be my favourite month.
It’s the month our daughter died.
It’s the month we should always bave an excited child.
A party to plan.
Presents to buy.
A cake to make.
And we never have any of it.
It’s always going to be hard.
But 6 years down the line I realised we can change how we respond to it.
We are never going to be our happiest in March.
I am always going to cry.
Mr L is always going to be angry.
The boys will always be emotional.
We can either let it overwhelm us.
So we can’t be anything else.
Or we can also make some amazing memories throughout March.
We can live for our little girl.
Do things she would have wanted for her birthday month.
Think of the things she would love and embrace them.
This month we have gone into the month, having a massive Spring Clean.
Our house is spotless and there is no junk anywhere.
We have had snow.
And the boys were out everyday.
Having snowball fights with their friends, building snowmen and making amazing memories.
We are going to the cinema for her birthday.
Peter Rabbit is coming out and I am sure it will be a film she would love to see, as was Beauty and the Beast last year.
A simple but so important tradition that we started with the boys.
We are going away for a couple of nights for her birthday as it falls on a weekend and it is exactly what we would do if she was here.
So we are doing it.
And we have Easter.
One of the boys most magical times of the year!
I am not naive to think we won’t cry.
We won’t get emotional.
We won’t get angry.
We won’t still fall apart.
But inbetween that we are going to live this month celebrating.
Celebrating our daughter.
The boys sister.
And making memories for her birthday month as we do for BB and for Boo.