Since I was poorly in February I took the opportunity to read.
Not just the general fiction books that fill up our stairs but some of the self help books, and business books.
I am drawn to them and have loads to be honest.
But while I have been reading them I have learnt something I am really really negative about myself.
I don’t have a great view of myself and I don’t feel I should be allowed good things into my life.
It has taken a few books worth to make me realise how much I actually think very badly of myself.
I have decided to be totally proactive about this and try to change my opinion as it is not a good opinion to have of yourself.
And very hypocritical to tell the boys to believe in themselves when actually I don’t.
I am not sure if I have always been like it or if I changed somewhere.
I know when Rhianna died I questioned myself a lot more and maybe that is when I stopped believing in myself.
I am not sure.
But the truth is that I really don’t belive in myself and think negatively about myself a lot.
So it needs to be changed.
And it isn’t going to change over night but it has to start somewhere.
My self belief and self worth need to improve massively.
And I am determined to improve them both.
So watch this space!