It is something we have to think about every year!

And something that does take a long time every year.

How to include Rhianna Lily into our Christmas celebrations.

There is a fine line to include her, but to not make Christmas all about her.

Every year we get out her named bauble. We have one for all our children and every year they are put on the tree in a row, all three children together. Every year I take a photo, and it is one of my favourite pictures every year! Baba, Rhianna and Boo all in a line all together.

Every year we put a tree on her grave, this is all we are allowed to do as our council is truly hideous about things on Rhianna’s grave (it is something I will regret ever doing to be honest, as every year I would love to really decorate her grave for Christmas and we are not allowed to do it)

Every year Baba want’s to do things, Rhianna always gets a mention from Santa it seems to be a little trend that happens.

We no longer send Christmas cards, instead we don’t to Tommy’s every year hoping that one day placental abruption will be no more.

Our hearts fill when family and friends send us a card and include Rhianna in it. It is a simple, probably thought as a pointless gesture by many but it means the world. She is part of the family, she is part of Mr L and I, she is a baby sister, a big sister and will always be and to have her mentioned in any form, her name, a comment that she is being thought of, our angel, our star in the sky any mention means the world. We are five not four and it hurts when people don’t mention her. She needs to be mentioned at times like this and it helps us, and it makes Baba and Boo smile.

Every year my mum and dad buy Rhianna’s Christmas tree for her grave, and a flower to put on her grave along with a couple of other family members.

And here is where the problem lies.

Firstly as I mentioned before with the rules and regulations that really ruin it all.

Secondly with her graves size.

Rhianna was 10 oz when she was born, she was so so small not even one pound. Her grave is tiny. You can’t even fit a wreath with her Christmas tree on it, and her christmas tree is small.

Unless we ask permission the items are also taken away.

So this year my mum wanted something different.

She wanted something that could be brought out every Christmas, could be kept at home with all of our decorations and then just take it to her grave for Christmas day if we want to. But something that we can use every year.

That means a lot and can be used over and over again.

This week she found this.

She found the angel and it had the ribbon and bells on, she then asked me to put Rhianna Lily’s name on it as she wanted it to be personalised for her. So I did this with a waterproof pen.

It is currently on the our side board next to our tree and we all love it, it is a gorgeous piece, one that we can get out every Christmas and can put up with our decorations and take it up to the grave on Christmas day just for one day.

It’s an item that will last a long time, and one that we can use year after year and one that we all love.


Celebrating A Missing Child At Christmas
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