I See You

I See You

I see you, I see you watching me, When you know I am not ok. I see you, Watching me holding back the tears. I see you, Watching me from the side. I see you, Watching me breathe through the pain. I see you, Watching 

Remembering You

Remembering You

Remembering you is all we can do. So we make sure we do it as well as we can every day. Every year we add something to your garden shelves outside. This year we are combining your flowers from your Nanny with your garden addition. 

Survival

Survival

Today I sat and did my make up. Honestly for the first time in what seemed like forever. I got up, I washed my face and I did my make up. As I stood there doing my make up, I wondered what I was doing. 

Personalised Memorial Vase

Personalised Memorial Vase

Recently we brought a cricut and one of the things I really wanted to make with it was a personalised Memorial Vase for Rhianna Lily. Ten years after her birth, and death we still can’t decide on her headstone, it isn’t a case of her 

It’s The Little Things

It’s The Little Things

The big dates never surprise me when it comes to grief. The birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries. Those dates I expect to be bad. But it’s the small non big things that get me. They are the ones that I don’t expect. That take my breath away. 

10 Years Tomorrow

10 Years Tomorrow

Tomorrow is our little girls 10th birthday Usually I have a lot to say about Rhiannas birthday. This year I am not sure how you process 10 whole years without her I am not sure how you explain 10 years of silence I am not 

Too Many

Too Many

I have too many ideas in my head. Too many dates to remember. Too many dates I would rather avoid. Too many to do’s. Too many things to finish. Too many things to start. Too many words to say. Too many memories to live back 

March

March

March has arrived. The month I love. The month I hate. It’s the month that is all about Rhianna. It’s the month I want to forget all about. It’s the month I want to remember every moment. It’s full of conflictions. It’s full of pain. 

Rhianna’s Shelves

Rhianna’s Shelves

Every year we update Rhianna’s shelves in the garden, this year was no different. I woke up the other day and decided to update her shelves. This year I really wanted her shelves to be bright and colourful, they have been different shades of white 

Ten Years

Ten Years

For nearly ten years we have walked this walk now. Ten years we have walked up the path to stand at your garden. Sometimes daily. Sometimes weekly. Sometimes only when we can bare it. The amount of visits really don’t matter. Ten years we have